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Don't Doubt Twenty-three

Updated: Mar 28, 2020

I am twenty-three years old with a father who is now eighty one years old. My mother and father were over a decade apart in age. I was born with four generations around me. I grew up with a father who owned his own stucco company, and my mother, as ambitious as she was, she was a stay at home mother, but she operated so much more than the house. My parents surrounded me with much family support and kept me in the most ivy league programs. My mother kept me in a diverse environment, being from Durham. I got to participate in law camps, modeling, acting and vacation bible school over the years she had on this earth. I have other siblings. My father has five children before me and my mother has a son eighteen years older than me. My brother [from my mother] has been my other father and best friend. He has a family of his own that are more closer to my siblings than my niece and nephew. My life hasn't been a silver spoon. My parents showed me about life, and how to keep it going even when you think it's crumbling down. My first lost in life was my grandfather. I was young, baby youth young, but I remember. I remember his funeral and watching the people cry, and the people comforting my grandmother. It was times like these I seen the village come together. Family I knew and never met came from all over to bring comfort and support, even if it was temporary. My second lost was my brother on my dad's side. It was fall of 2008, my brother was a NCSU (North Carolina State University) graduate, top of his class, for Computer Science. He was a recent graduate, one night partying with his friends at a local pool and while under the influence, my brother slipped in the pool and was unable to be retrieved and he drowned. A lost I never could understand. A lost I watched my father take on with no hesitation, and my mother standing my his side. I lost my brother to an accident I understood nothing about. Time waits for no one. It wasted none when it took my mother's health too. Months later, my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I was at the time twelve years old. My mother had to undergo several types of chemo and radiation. I watched my mother go through so much pain and medical treatment and I watched my family come together and fall apart all together. I was her only daughter, the only one who she could have to share jewelry, go prom shopping, and call when I am having relationship problems. I lost my mom weeks before my birthday. I lost, and over the years I tried to patch back pieces that I lost. I may be young, but I have seen so much. It was in 2017 that my grandmother, of Louisville, KY, passed away, and in 2019 my brother (nephew) was killed at age sixteen.


I may be twenty three, twenty four in May, and I have seen no much that can change your youthful hair gray. I have seen disappointment and felt cold shoulders. I have met anxiety and depression and had to crawl myself out of their grips. I have seen eviction, slept in my own car, seen friends make headlines and passed on opportunities to reach a riskier goal, but I don't underestimate my wisdom because of my age. My story. MY downfalls are what will be someone's lesson to become great legends.


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